What Michael offersI am the in-house APUK coach and director, a father of 4 and step-dad to Michelle’s (founder of APUK) daughters, and more recently loving my role as a grandfather. I particularly love and specialise working work with mothers, fathers and couples.
- Do you trust your instincts about what’s right for your children or are you beset with self-doubt when offered well-intentioned advice from relatives, friends or google?
- And do you, as a consequence, experience anxiety, frustration and self-criticism?
- Do you feel overwhelmed and find yourself in a cycle of reacting in a negative or harmful way to your children and then feel guilty that you’ve done so?
- Are you struggling to self-care in the context of a busy and demanding family life? The ‘what about me?’ voice.
My approach points you towards the understanding that children are resilient and have innate psychological health and wellbeing. This allows them to function in a healthy way and to act with wisdom and common-sense. It’s inbuilt into their system and, by extension, it is inbuilt into every one of us.
However, we all know that our children do misbehave sometimes and that it is often appropriate and necessary to intervene. But the state of mind we are in when approaching the child is crucial to helping our children respond in a way that allows them to learn new, and more appropriate behaviours.
Michael’s coaching approach is gentle yet also robust, calming yet also growthful, and working with him has inspired curiosity and inquiry in me.
I found within me the unconditional love and acceptance from which I can nourish the high demands of my family, without feeling empty and depleted myself.
Michael listened to the child within me who desperately needed to be heard so the adult in me could step up and take her place as mother.
I emphasize what is right with you, not what is wrong with you
You see, our children live in the environment of our feelings. The feeling we have at the time is the environment that the child is living in at that moment.
Understanding this will point you towards the importance of being aware of your own mood states. I will help you return to that space that is within all of us where love, care, respect and light-heartedness arise naturally and the mental clutter falls away.
A space where we can more readily see that when our children act out, they act out of insecurity and we need to help them regain their sense of security.
Our children learn and respond best when there is a good feeling in the relationship.
I work face-to-face in Dartington Devon, online or by phone
To get in touch please email:
What is coaching?
The intention behind coaching is to help an individual or group identify where they are and stimulate movement to where they want to be.
The process of coaching is to:
- conduct a purposeful conversation focused on one or more challenges or outcomes
- stimulate your personal insights from my questions rather than offering answers or solutions
What does the introductory session involve?
The 30 minute introductory session is a no-pressure opportunity to talk about and receive some support about whatever is most current in your parenting life. It’s a chance for you to see how I work and decide if there’s value for you in moving forward together. This session is charged at a reduced rate of less than half my standard rate.
How many sessions do I need?
Every person has a unique experience with coaching. Some find tremendous value in just a few sessions and others enjoy having a regular session, either weekly, fortnightly or monthly, as a way of investing in their well-being – for themselves and their family. I don’t insist on a certain number of sessions – we work it out together.
What do parents find valuable about your approach?
Given how much of our attention is taken up by family life, coaching offers totally dedicated time for you – something we rarely take but which nourishes us in extraordinary ways. It’s also opportunity to voice thoughts that ordinarily get given little airtime, and to be listened to without judgment. I’m told that parents find my approach highly reassuring, inspiring and empowering.
Is couple coaching relevant for all couples?
Although individual coaching for mum or dad is highly valuable, the optimal way to support the entire family is to have parents working together. This enables them to look at the dynamics of the relationship and how that impacts and supports the children. Couples coaching applies to thriving couples, couples in trouble and those who are separated and co-parenting. The aim is always the same – to be the most loving and supportive parents they can be.